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 I took a deep breath late on that spring day as I walked along, the smell of the earth renewing itself filled the air. I walked quietly along the beaten pathway. The lake bordering one side, the forest the other. As was my way, when I was distressed I would walk this trail and just think. I had not once looked up, so lost in my thoughts I was. It was the call of a Raven that gave me pause to glance into the sky and look after it's sliver from flying high above. The sun glinting off it's wings as it swept down behind the tree line and out of sight.
I guess that was then that I realized how far I had walked. Much further then I usually go. I moved out to stand on a jetty of rocks. Staring out at the water wondering where I should go from here? Just what was there to hold me in this place? It seemed like I had done this once before. Like this scene before me was already played out and that all I must do now is wait for the ending.
Though it was close to 85 degrees out again, there was a wonderful wind coming off the lake. The sounds of nature surrounded me. The water crashing up against the rock. With it's gentle spray that reached out to caress my skin. The seagulls calling from overhead looking for the staples that would sustain them for the summer. Trees rustling behind me as they stretched and reached for the sun which held the promise of new growth. I caught the sounds of a far off creaking and the voice of an old fisherman singing his evening tune as his boat move toward the shore. Looking out over the lake in front of me, the sun sparkling on the water. Breathing deeply, smelling the sweet and pungent scent of spring bursting forth.
All this, in and of itself makes me long for someone to hold once more. I think back to when my lover and I would sneak off to this very lake and share in it's beauty. But this is not truly the reason I write with such longing and sadness. Though my lover has been taken from me I know with certainty that he awaits me at the rivers side, where we shall cross together from this life to our next. I shudder once at that thought, then let my mind come back into focus with the present.
While I stood and took Gaia into my senses I heard the most hauntingly, breathtaking sound. I wish I had the words to describe it. Or even the words to understand what it made me feel. Always the curious cat I went in search of this exquisite noise. It could not be far. It was so clear. I wandered down the path. Sure I would find a musician sitting on a rock playing a wooden flute or pipe of some such thing. Never had I thought to find what awaited me.
There before my eyes was a stand of Wind Reeds. Long slim reeds bent over from force of the wind. I had been sure that when they put in the pathway that they had all been destroyed. The Wind Reed once a year when the conditions are just right, play natures very own music. There delicate voices heard for but a few moments in time. Nothing comes close to matching them. The last time I had heard their lovely strains was ten years ago when I last wandered out this far with my love. I heard them play then and knew that we would never be apart. If we were not together in body then we would be at least be in spirit.
I am not sure why Gaia saw fit to let me hear them twice in this life time. Perhaps it was her way of telling me that she is forever in my heart. Perhaps it is a sign that I need move from this place and she wished me to have one last memory of it. I guess it does not matter and I might not ever know. I like to think it is Gaia's way of telling me my love is still waiting for me and to go and do as I must for Gaia so she might return me to his arms. But as with so many things in life, who knows what it might mean. All I do know is I am most grateful for them.
liza Magill summer 1997
| In loving memory of Kevin.
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